Meditation for 1 July 2009
From The Rev. Peter A. Munson
Psalm 130
1Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord. 2 Lord, hear my voice! Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications!
3If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities, Lord, who could stand? 4But there is forgiveness with you, so that you may be revered.
5I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; 6my soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch for the morning, more than those who watch for the morning.
7O Israel, hope in the Lord! For with the Lord there is steadfast love, and with him is great power to redeem. 8It is he who will redeem Israel from all its iniquities.
Waiting for the Lord
I get up this morning. I take Hannah to cross-country practice. I run while she is running, though not nearly so far or as quickly! I go pick her up from practice. I come sit at my desk in the basement, reading the lessons for the day, preparing to write this meditation. I feel uninspired. My inner attitude is not so good, not exactly receptive. I've read about Samuel being mad at the people of Israel for demanding a king before. (1 Samuel 12) I've read before about a man named Simon being so impressed with the Spirit coming when the apostles lay hands on new converts that he offered the apostles money so that he could have this power. (Acts 8) I've read many times before about Jesus standing before Pilate and then Herod (in this case, Luke 23). And I think to myself, why, oh why, is this the gospel reading for early summer? Are we back in Lent again? Did I mention that I feel uninspired?
And yet... and yet... I have decided to make an appointment with the Lord, every Wednesday morning. I will sit down with you, Lord, and read the appointed lessons. You have called me to reflect on them and write a meditation, and share it with your people. This call came three years ago this summer, and it has not gone away. So here I am, Lord. But - just to be clear, Lord - I'm feeling quite uninspired.
My thoughts wander to my upcoming vacation that begins on July 26. July has arrived. Boy, I really need that vacation, Lord. Maybe that is part of my problem. My thoughts move on to two priest colleagues of mine in Boulder, who have recently been let go, victims of "the economy", like so many others in our country. They are confused, angry, and unsure of when they will be offered a new job, or to which part of the country they will be moving. Perhaps it is a gift that both of them are single, and other family member are not impacted. But then I think about how much love and support I receive from my family, and think about them facing this with a certain amount of isolation and aloneness, and I think again. Perhaps it is not a gift that they are single. I have listened to them at different times, and I have tried to offer support. Has it felt like support, I wonder?
I turn to today's Psalm. "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope..." (verse 5)
There is a certain amount of "waiting on the Lord" that happens in this journey of faith that you and I are on.
We wait for inspiration - our creative muse, the Holy Spirit - as we improve our homes, or look for a new job, or sit down to write a sermon or a song or a play or a book, or write a paper for school. We wait for the Lord as we seek a new direction for our church, as we try to figure out where to go to college, as we seek guidance on how to move forward in a conflicted relationship.
On the other hand, we don't want to wait for the Lord. We get impatient with waiting, or we don't even want to begin the process of waiting, so counter-cultural is this idea of waiting. Why should I wait for the Lord when I don't have to wait anywhere else? I can check myself out at the grocery story, my paycheck gets deposited directly into my bank account, I can be online in a few seconds, I can even buy drive-through coffee (although, as a non-coffee drinker, I notice that the drive-through line is often much slower than the line for those who turn off their car engines and go inside).
Waiting for the Lord? Why would I wait for the Lord? I'll just go for a run, or go run an errand, or make a quick decision and deal with whatever happens next, or "zone out" with a good book or a not-so-good movie. Waiting is too difficult, because it's TOO S-L-O-W!
And yet, if I don't train and discipline myself to wait for the Lord, I will never hear a word from the Lord. There's the rub - right there. Because I know from past experience that the word I hear from the Lord is so much deeper and life-giving than anything else I hear. Most - not all, but most - of the other stuff I hear is noise, and it doesn't give me life, it doesn't inspire me to be faithful or loving or to risk doing anything really big or great. But words from the Lord... hearing the WORD of the LORD - that is a very different story.
It as because Samuel was regularly waiting for a word from the Lord that he could tell the people that they were settling for something inferior (and sinning, too), when they demanded a king, like the other nations had. (Peer pressure can be "nation pressure", I suppose). It was because Peter and the others were praying regularly, and waiting on the Lord, that they could say to Simon, "Your silver perish with you, because you thought you could obtain the gift of God with money!" (Acts 8:20) It was because Jesus had been waiting on Yahweh, the Lord, that he made no answer when Herod questioned him at some length, just for his own amusement, "because he had heard about him, and was hoping to see some sign from him." And when Herod and his soldiers treated him with contempt and mocked him, and put an elegant robe on him, Jesus said nothing. Probably because he had been waiting on the Lord, praying the night before in the Garden of Gethsemane.
Sometimes, when you and I don't feel inspired, we just need to keep our appointment with the Lord anyway. Have you ever gone into work when you didn't feel like going in? Of course you have. It is just like that. For that matter, have you ever gone to church when you didn't feel like going? Of course you have. It is just like that. You go into work, or show up at church, and something shifts, and your day (or your Sunday morning) turns around. (Usually, in my experience, the Lord has something to do with that, too.) So, whether feeling inspired or not, we wait upon the Lord. We keep our appointment with Him. And he shows up, and delivers a life-giving word, and everything shifts. We are given our daily spiritual bread to sustain us and even transform us for the better. Because the word of the Lord is not like all the other words you and I hear. In His word are hope and love and power and new life. And that is why we wait for the Lord, more than those who watch for the morning.