EASTER 6B – Acts 10:44-48; Psalm 98; 1 John 5:1-6; John 15:9-17 – 17 May 2009 –
A sermon given by The Rev. Peter A. Munson for St. Ambrose Episcopal Church, Boulder, Colorado
Love Isn’t Always Warm and Fuzzy
INTRODUCTION – An emotional roller coaster
Did you feel the emotional roller coaster at the beginning of today’s Gospel message? Here… let me help you feel it.
“As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love.” (John 15:9) Ah! Images of being wrapped up in a wonderful hug from Jesus come to mind. Or perhaps sitting at his feet, as Mary did in that scene that Martha helped make famous, for a very long time, just soaking in his wisdom. Or maybe going on along walk with him, as Cleopas and his friend did, on the road to Emmaus.
Abide in your love, Jesus? You bet. I can do that for the rest of my life. In this busy, often-troubled, mixed up world, I will be very glad to abide in your love. I can start today, and continue that job for the rest of my life!
But then, I remember our Contract Law professor quoting “Blythe’s Rule” in my first semester of law school. “Blythe’s rule” was “read on!”, as in, “Keep reading. You haven’t read the entire case yet.”
Jesus continues, “If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love…” Hmmm, which commandments are those? And then he adds, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” And then, to drive the point home, just in case we want to temper or dilute what he is saying a little bit, he adds, “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:10, 12-13)
We move from the wonderful, warm and fuzzy feeling of abiding in Jesus’ love – 1, 2, 3… everyone say with me “Ah!” – to Jesus saying that the way you abide in his love is to keep his commandments, which can be summed up in his words, “love one another as I have loved you”, and oh yes, by the way, that kind of loving will involve some sacrifice, some dying.
Do you see what I mean about the emotional roller coaster?
LOVE ISN’T ALWAYS WARM AND FUZZY
You and I sometimes want to make love all warm and fuzzy. You might say we want to “Hollywood-ize” love or make it one big fairy tale. But if you look at the life of Jesus, and the way that he loved people, you quickly must acknowledge that loving one another as he has loved us is not often a fairy tale/Hollywood kind of love.
What does “Jesus love” look like?
It looks like being up with your child (or maybe even taking her to the emergency room) at 3 am, because she doesn’t feel well.
It looks like saying “no” to your son or daughter when they ask to do something, because you know that they’re not mature enough to do that yet, and it isn’t good for them to do yet, and then dealing with all the arguing and push-back and “so-and-so’s parents let her do it” that come when your child is disappointed and angry with your decision.
Jesus love looks like going directly to the person that you’ve had a conflict, disagreement, or misunderstanding with, and talking about it, and not bringing in any third or fourth parties before you have tried talking to the person you have had the issue with first.
Jesus love looks like calling a spade a spade, and sometimes even using “fighting words” language, because you care so much about the person and his or her welfare that you want to wake them up from their slumber – especially people who think that they have everything figured out, and are better than everyone else. Do the words “brood of vipers” or “hypocrite” jog any memories of how Jesus loved people?
Another way to say that is that Jesus love means loving someone enough that you don’t support or enable their destructive behavior, and giving him feedback that he may not want to hear.
Jesus love means watching your child leave home, and letting him or her go, even though a part of you is dying inside as you watch them go.
Jesus love is being with a loved one as they age and go through the process of dying, and seeing someone be just a shell of who they used to be, and – in the midst of all the feelings that come up around that – trying to love them anyway.
Jesus love, according to Jesus’ own words and actions, is loving and praying for your enemies.
Jesus love is forgiving someone who’s hurt you – not just slightly offended you, but really hurt you. And Jesus love is going to someone that you have hurt – not just slightly offended, but really hurt, and apologizing for what you did, and asking that person to forgive you.
THE REWARDS OF JESUS LOVE
You might say that “Jesus love” sounds very difficult. Well, it is. It involves sacrifice. It involves laying down one’s life for another. It involves laying aside one’s ego, one’s narcissistic tendencies to want the entire world to revolve around us.
But you know what? There are some definite rewards. There’s a definite pay-off.
The #1 reward? Jesus says this is the pathway to real joy. “I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.” (John 15:11) Loving others as Jesus loves us is so challenging that it isn’t going to happen without God’s help, without us allowing the Spirit of God to work through us and in us. And when we allow the risen Christ or the Holy Spirit to guide us, we have the joy of God available to us. This, I think, is what Jesus means when he says, in effect, “Love as I do so that my joy may be in you.”
We think of Jesus’ love as being a sacrificial, serving others first, dying kind of love – and it is. But do we hear his words today, that it is also a joy-filled, joy-full kind of love? The way that Jesus loved ultimately brought him joy – complete joy – and if we can learn to love others in the way that he loves us, then we will know complete joy also.
The second reward? Did you hear it? Friendship with Jesus! When we learn to love others in the way that Jesus loves us, we are no longer his servants, but his friends. True mutual friendship, as in honesty on both sides, being able to say whatever is on your heart. Someone in the lectio class said that you have greater expectations with a friend than you do with an acquaintance, and when a friend lets you down you can tell him that. There is also more joy, more capacity to just “be” together, and yes, in a true friendship, the sacrifice and “laying down one’s life” goes in both directions.
In our discussion of this passage, Kiyonori Kobayashi said, “If we love each other like this, maybe the truth we create. Not my truth or your truth, but the truth.” To which I can only add, the Truth that is God, and God’s love for the world.
CONCLUSION
No, if you’ve lived for a while on this earth, just as Jesus did, you know that love is not always a warm and fuzzy thing. And yet, loving others as Jesus loves us is the pathway to real joy, and it is the pathway to true friendship – friendship with God, and friendship with others. And when all is said and done, what is more fulfilling and more important than joy and friendship?
Risen Lord… Holy Spirit… help us to love others – our family members, our friends, our enemies – as you love us. Help us to lay down our lives for them, as you laid down your life for us. Lead us to joy and friendship. We pray in your Holy Name. Amen.