PROPER 17B – Song of Solomon 2:8-13; Psalm 45:1-2, 7-10; James 1:17-27; Mark 7:1-8, 14-15, 21-23 – 30 August 2009 – A sermon given by The Rev. Peter A. Munson for St. Ambrose Episcopal Church, Boulder, Colorado – © 2009

Where Is Your Focus? Criticism Destroys, Love Builds

INTRODUCTION – Playing “Slug Bug” With Hannah

When we are driving somewhere in the car, Hannah often likes to play “Slug Bug”. The game is rather simple. The first person to see a Volkswagen Beetle calls it and its color out – “Slug Bug Red!” – and then that person gets to bop you one. This game legitimizes family members slapping or punching each other, all in good fun, of course. Since I am the one usually driving, and I am trying to pay attention to the road, Hannah has a distinct advantage. Her attention is undivided, and she is bopping me every five or ten seconds.

It’s kind of amazing, when you play a game like this, how many VW Beetles you suddenly spot. They’re all over the place. (Hannah had a phase once where we added Jeeps to the list, and suddenly Beetles and Jeeps were all over the place. But we didn’t slug with the Jeeps, I guess because “slug” and “Jeep” don’t rhyme.)

Focus and attention are very interesting things. You tend to see what you are looking for.

THE PHARISEES NOTICED…

And so we get this verb “noticed” in today’s passage from Mark. As in, “Now when the Pharisees and some of the scribes who had come from Jerusalem had gathered around Jesus, they noticed that some of his disciples were eating with defiled hands, that is, without washing them.” (Mark 7:1-2, emphasis added) They noticed. They just happened to notice this screw-up by some of Jesus’ disciples. Why did they notice? Because they were already suspicious of Jesus; they had already decided they didn’t much care for how he cured that man with the withered hand on the Sabbath; they were beginning to think that perhaps this guy was a threat to them. So they were already watching him – and his disciples – closely, to see if they might “catch” them at something. So they noticed.

It’s sort of like when you are already a little bit irritated with a family member or a friend for something you think they have done to you. And then you really begin to focus on every little thing that they do.

“You made this or that decision without consulting me.”

“You left a mess here, and I had to clean it up.”

“You weren’t listening! I already told you when we have to be there!”

Yeah, we notice. Because we are watching them like a hawk. And the first thing they do that seems out of line, we spring on them like a mountain lion. Aha! Gotcha! You didn’t wash your hands!

The point of this story has nothing to do with whether or not you should wash your hands before eating. If you want to be healthy, clearly one of the good things you can do is wash you hands – before meals and at other times, too. This is a story about where we put our focus. It’s a story about the condition of our hearts. “This people honors me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me…” (Mark 7:6, quoting Isaiah 29:13) It’s even a story about traditions and the tendency of any group of people to look down their noses at others and exclude others, based on an agreement they all have to do things in a certain way. But it’s not really a story about whether you should wash your hands or not.

HOW ARE WE OTHER-FOCUSED?

What I have come to realize is this: there is a way of being other-focused that works – that builds up and fosters relationships – and a way of being other-focused that absolutely kills a relationship.

The #1 way to kill a relationship is to be focused on what the other person is doing wrong – to be critical, judgmental or blaming. “You cured this person on the Sabbath! That’s wrong!” “You didn’t wash before you ate! What’s wrong with you?” “This room is a pig sty! You leave a mess wherever you go!” “You are so stupid! How can you not know that?” These sorts of comments, and others like them, kill relationships.

There is another way of being other-focused that kills your own soul. If you are always worried about what others will think of what you say or do, if you’re always trying to please others, if you’re so worried about other people’s emotions that you never are honest or authentic, that will kill you. You have no control over other’s emotions or reactions, so don’t go there. You only have control over yourself. That is the only place where you can take full responsibility.

The way of being other-focused that works has everything to do with loving and appreciating others, in the very same way that you love and appreciate yourself. Here are a few phrases you should be familiar with:

-           seeking and serving Christ in all persons, loving your neighbor as yourself

-           striving for justice and peace among all people, and respecting the dignity of every human being

These phrases, of course, are straight from our Baptismal Covenant, or “What it means to be a follower of Christ.” And it translates into looking for and seeing the best in others, and expressing your thanks and appreciation for their gifts, their talents, even their existence on this earth, and the blessing that they are in your life.

THE WAY OF LOVE

Both Jesus and James are saying that there should be an alignment, an integrity between our praising God and the way we treat other people. When we are not in integrity, we are hypocrites.

We can worship God, but if we are often critical and judgmental of others, then our hearts are far from God, and – deep down – we know that to be the case.

There is a “juiciness” to being critical, I suppose. It feels good for a moment to act superior, or to feel like you are exacting some sort of revenge on someone who has slighted you in some way. But then, after the juiciness loses its flavor, what are you left with? Well, you have distance in your relationship, and if the pattern continues, you have a wall, and if it continues further, you have ongoing hostility, contempt, or even warfare.

Is this our calling?

No. Far from it. Our calling is to love God, our neighbor, and ourselves. Our calling is to build, not to destroy… to appreciate, not to criticize… to be generous, not to be stingy… to risk faithfulness, not hide away in fear… to love, not to hate… to stay close to God so that God can transform our hearts, rather than having our hearts stained and corrupted by the world. Or, as James puts it, you’re kidding yourself if you think you are a religious person and you have an unbridled tongue that does damage to other people. True people of faith care for others – like family members, for example, and orphans and widows in their distress.

Or, as Jesus put, what ends up defiling a person is the stuff that comes up from within, when a human heart turns away from God, and we choose to do destructive things to others.

THE GROUP DILEMMA

One final caution: There is a tendency, once we are part of any group, to start making that group “the gold standard”. This is it! We are it! It’s why you have different faiths claiming that they are the only true way, and that everyone who doesn’t practice that faith is doomed as either an infidel or a pagan or an unbeliever or a Gentile or the “unchurched”. Notice how quickly we come up with names for those who are not with us, and it all equates to “other”, “not us”, “them”. And what it really means, of course, is “less than”.

Let us not go there, my friends. Let us build the kingdom, as opposed to being part of the problem. Whatever group you are a part of, try to think of who else you might invite into it. That certainly must be the attitude for those of us who are following Jesus, for our Lord repeatedly said, “Follow me” or “Come and see”.

CONCLUSION

If you get in the car with Hannah and me one day, and she shouts out, “Slug Bug Red!”, and slugs me in the arm, by all means, join in with us. I will thoroughly enjoy it when you spot one of those little Beetles before she does, and give her a nice friendly bop on the head.