Meditation for 29 September 2010
From The Rev. Peter A. Munson
Luke 5:27-39
27 After this he went out and saw a tax-collector named Levi, sitting at the tax booth; and he said to him, ‘Follow me.’ 28And he got up, left everything, and followed him.
29 Then Levi gave a great banquet for him in his house; and there was a large crowd of tax-collectors and others sitting at the table with them. 30The Pharisees and their scribes were complaining to his disciples, saying, ‘Why do you eat and drink with tax-collectors and sinners?’ 31Jesus answered, ‘Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick; 32I have come to call not the righteous but sinners to repentance.’
33 Then they said to him, ‘John’s disciples, like the disciples of the Pharisees, frequently fast and pray, but your disciples eat and drink.’ 34Jesus said to them, ‘You cannot make wedding-guests fast while the bridegroom is with them, can you? 35The days will come when the bridegroom will be taken away from them, and then they will fast in those days.’ 36He also told them a parable: ‘No one tears a piece from a new garment and sews it on an old garment; otherwise the new will be torn, and the piece from the new will not match the old. 37And no one puts new wine into old wineskins; otherwise the new wine will burst the skins and will be spilled, and the skins will be destroyed. 38But new wine must be put into fresh wineskins. 39And no one after drinking old wine desires new wine, but says, “The old is good.” ’
Differentiated – Different and Connected

Jesus was different from the other teachers of his day.

To the paralytic who was lowered down through the roof by his friends, Jesus said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven you.” And the scribes and Pharisees questioned, “Who is this who is speaking blasphemies? Who can forgive sins but God alone?” After responding to the scribes and Pharisees, Jesus told the paralytic to stand up, take up his bed, and go home – so that they would know that the Son of Man had authority on earth to forgive sins. The paralytic got up, took up his mat, and walked home, “glorifying God.” (Luke 5:20-25)

After that interaction, he called Levi – of the despised class of tax collectors – to be one of his disciples. Then he sat down to a feast hosted by Levi, with a large crowd of tax collectors and other known “sinners”. The scribes and Pharisees complained again, this time to Jesus’ disciples. Why does your guy eat with these folks – the wrong, “unclean” ones? Jesus heard them and answered them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick; I have come to call not the righteous but sinners to repentance.” (verses 31-32, above)

The scribes and Pharisees continued. “John’s disciples, like the disciples of the Pharisees, frequently fast and pray, but your disciples eat and drink.” You can almost hear the implied question. “What’s up with that?” Jesus patiently answers, and tells them that something different is going on with him. He is the “bridegroom”, and as long as the bridegroom is around, there will be no fasting. He is “new wine”.

One of the biggest challenges for us as human beings is to be differentiated. To be differentiated is to hold onto to yourself while you stay connected to others, even when those closest to you get reactive (anxious, mad, or sad). We have a deep, innate yearning to be connected with others, to be part of a group, to belong. And yet, God also calls each of us to be the unique human being that we were made to be. To do both – to be this unique, defined self AND to stay connected to the larger group, even when they disagree with me, make fun of me, pressure me, get upset with me – this is the call “to maturity, to the measure of the full stature of Christ”. (Ephesians 4:13) It’s not an easy calling. Rabbi Edwin Friedman, in his book A Failure of Nerve, writes, “The very presence of differentiation in a leader will stir up anxious response.” (p. 186) Friedman quotes Dr. Murray Bowen as saying that differentiation “…is a lifetime project with no one ever getting more than seventy percent there.” (p. 183)

I think one person got more than 70% there, and his name was Jesus. When I read the Gospels, I discover a man who claimed his authority, a man who knew who he was, a man who lived out of his essence (his true self) and – equally important – a man who could stay lovingly connected to the people around him when they, quite predictably, got anxious and reactive in response to not only what Jesus did, but who he was.

Jesus was different from the other rabbis, all right. But he was not so different that he was inaccessible and aloof. He was not so different that he couldn’t stay connected to those who loved him and those who hated him. He was himself with others. He didn’t let the crowd obliterate who he was, in the name of “being like everyone else”. And despite all of their agitated responses, “he loved them to the end.” (John 13:1b)

The world desperately needs differentiated people – differentiated parents, differentiated politicians, differentiated CEOs, differentiated leaders. We do not need more demonizing, more cutting ourselves off from the people we disagree with. We need to listen to our enemies, not cut ourselves off from them, while at the same time holding on to ourselves. We need to hold on to our values and our faith, while staying connected to people who might have a different faith, and even different values.

“You don’t have authority to forgive sins, Jesus! Blasphemy! You are eating with the wrong people, Jesus! Despicable! Your disciples aren’t fasting, Jesus! Teach them the right way to be a disciple!” Jesus didn’t change any of these things. But he also didn’t let their reactions drive him away. Otherwise he might have been left with an audience of one – his mother – and even she didn’t get him half the time! No. He stayed connected to them, and loved them to the end, while he held on to himself.

This is a tough, ongoing challenge – to be a differentiated person. I hope to be like Jesus one day. Or at least get 50% (25%?) of the way there.